Misconception
by Jaina
Summary: Months after the end of the series, things seem easy for Vash and Meryl. Of course, this is when Life comes up with its own plan.
1. Revelation

Misconception

By Jaina (lhanson@bgnet.bgsu.edu)

VxM. WIP. Post-series.

Props and thanks to Arafel, Empress Galaxia, Clinesterton, Kiri, and Grey for betalicious help, prodding, and listening to my whining about a title.

Chapter One

As evening dissolved into night, long past the time she was expected home, Meryl slipped through the front door of her apartment. A tiny, amused smile was plastered to her lips, as if she were laughing at some joke that was hers alone. "I'm home," she called out. She slid her shoes off into a neat row beside the door and hung her coat up on a hook before walking across the living room to gaze out the window at the sparkling stars that dotted the sky. Scarcely a moment later, she felt a strong pair of arms envelop her from behind and she leaned into them contentedly. "The sky is beautiful, isn't it?" she remarked.  
  
"Mmmhm." Vash pressed a kiss to the back of her neck and she wrapped her   
arms around his in response. "You're back awfully late tonight. Dinner got cold."  
  
"I stayed late to do the final paperwork on a file."  
  
"Oh? Anything I'd be interested in?"  
  
"Maybe." She looked up over her shoulder at him and grinned. "As of today, the file on Vash the Stampede is officially closed."  
  
"Already? It's only been six months." He wrinkled his nose. "I should be insulted by how quickly they forgot me."

  
"Oh, pipe down." Meryl jabbed him in the side, prompting a brief mouselike squeak. "This makes things a lot easier for me, you know. After so long without any incidents people have stopped asking me what it was like traveling with a vicious outlaw, and how did I ever escape his clutches, and aren't I glad to be home sweet home at last." She snorted to show her opinion of such people.  
  
"You're saying you don't want people to know you're having a torrid affair with this amazing fellow? Ow!" He rubbed his arm, victim of another jab. "Stop that. You'll damage my delicate skin."  
  
"You'll be lucky if that's all that happens," she retorted. She turned in his embrace, moving her arms up around his neck. "I'm glad things have calmed down, Vash," she confessed. "I just want to live quietly for a little while. No more drama."  
  
"I can go along with that," he agreed, and dipped his head down to her lips. "This seems so unreal sometimes," Vash murmured when they parted for breath, his voice barely audible. He traced the line of her back with his fingers. "I keep getting scared that I'll wake up and this'll all have been a dream and I'll be alone again."  
  
"You won't be. I promise." She kissed him firmly. "Not as long as I can help it."  
  
"I hope not." He pulled her closer for she what she thought was a hug and suddenly her center of gravity shifted as he scooped her up in his arms.   
  
"Hey!"  
  
"Shhh," he scolded, grinning his quirky grin. "Don't be so loud. You wouldn't want the neighbors to know you're harboring a criminal, do you?" He shifted her in his arms, easily bearing her weight.  
  
She scowled at him even as she held onto his shoulders for balance. "You're not being very fair, you know. You're a lot bigger than me."  
  
"I know I'm not. But that's what criminals like me do." He shrugged and kissed her nose before striding towards their bedroom. "Now remember, don't make a sound. I'm a secret."  
  
Shortly thereafter she failed his edict not to cry out, but the apartment's walls were thick and Vash didn't seem to mind after all.  
  


_A little over a month later_

  
  
Meryl paced back and forth, wearing a flat path in the carpet as she waited for Vash to return. The suns were nearly setting-where was he? She paused to look out the window above the kitchen sink and her stomach roiled as she thought of how he might react to this.  
  
_Hi, sweetheart, guess what? I don't have the flu after all.  
_  
The doctor had looked at her strangely when she'd swallowed thickly and asked if he was certain. A quick glance at Meryl's bare left hand had seemed to smooth away the confusion on his face. Quietly serious, he'd suggested that if it was what she wanted, he could assist her with some of her options. A sudden burst of nausea had saved her from having to answer.  
  
She paced the rooms of the apartment again, wondering for the first time just how small they felt to Vash. Her normal salary, as well as the hazard pay she'd accumulated, allowed them to rent a relatively large unit in the December complex. It was a safe, friendly neighborhood and the apartment was airy and tastefully decorated. But previously to this, Vash's home had been the endless boundaries of earth and sky, and never one place for too long. He'd even managed to break those boundaries during his time on the flying ship. She'd never insisted he stay and he'd never seemed to want to leave. But this…she touched her middle lightly before forcing her hands to her sides. This was a restraint stronger than any stone walls and might finally be enough to make him gasp for an unconfined breath.  
  
Her footsteps carried her to the spare room at the end of the hallway that led to their bedroom. She barely hesitated before undoing the three heavy locks that kept the room shut tightly away from the rest of their home.  
  
The pale figure that lay bound to the small bed was still, aside from the barely   
noticeable movement of his chest as he breathed. She hovered above him, feeling a strange compulsion to poke at him and find out whether he was truly out, as Vash assured her, or merely biding his time until he could murder her and escape to a remote location where he could heal and plot more misery for Vash. He'd sneer at her first, mocking her audacity at daring to be with Vash and then punish her for daring to pollute his race. Or maybe let her live just long enough for her to produce a disciple for him, a young tool that he could steal away to raise in his own image. Maybe he'd just smile quietly as his   
own kind refused to tolerate her and ate her alive from the inside out--  
  
She shut the door, trembling. Shut away like this, Knives had not been a reminder that Vash wasn't human. Vash's personality was so warm and loving that he seemed to be the most human person she'd ever met. Now, with every breath she took, she remembered that he wasn't.  
  
As she re-did the locks, she heard the front door open. Vash.  
  
He was smiling as she met him in the kitchen, two brown sacks in hand. She envied him the carefree expression. "Hey," he greeted her, leaning over to kiss her cheek.  
  
"You're late," she said, then cringed at the bluntness of it. Already she wasn't saying things right.  
  
"Sorry about that." He grinned sheepishly. "You wouldn't believe how much work there is for a part-time clerk, especially when it involves cleaning up a display of donuts that someone carelessly knocked over."  
  
Meryl rolled her eyes and took a sack from him, pulling out a few cans of soup to stow in the cabinets. "And that someone wouldn't happen to have spiky blonde hair, would they? Sometimes I really do wonder how you're still working there at all."  
  
"Hey, come on now." He affected a tone of false indignation. "I'll have you know   
they appreciate my services. And look, I did this week's shopping so you don't have to. Doesn't that make up for it?"   
  
"I suppose," she replied absently, not looking at him. Possibilities of what to say ran through her mind, each one being rejected. "How was work other than your little mishap?"  
  
"Oh, it was fine. Same old same old. My boss actually offered to make me assistant manager, can you believe it?" He chuckled.  
  
Her head snapped up. "Assistant manager?"  
  
He nodded as he pulled a box of oatmeal out of the bag. "I know. I was surprised, too. You know, I think this is the first actual job I've had that doesn't involve sharpshooting. Too bad I had to turn him down."  
  
She just stared at him. "Turn him down?" She shook her head, dimly aware that she wasn't contributing to the conversation. "Why?"  
  
He looked up at her, a surprised expression on his face. "Well, I couldn't really commit to it, could I? Assistant manager means more hours and I don't want to leave Knives alone more than I am now. Just because he's stable now doesn't mean he'll never wake up."  
  
She clenched her hands into fists at the thought of walking in to tend to Vash's   
brother one day and seeing his cold eyes staring back. No. Do not think of that right now, Meryl. You've got bigger worries at the moment. "But do you really think that's going to happen any time soon? A promotion is a good thing, Vash. It's more money, for starters."  
  
"Do we really need it, though?" He closed the cabinet door and came over to her. "I'm sorry I don't contribute as much as you do, but I thought we were pretty comfortable." He looked suddenly uncertain. "You haven't been dipping into your savings, have you? I want you to tell me if we need anything. We're in this together." He leaned in to kiss her, but she ducked away and grabbed a bag from the table. 

  
"No, I haven't," she said, turning away from him in the guise of putting away more groceries. "Financially, we're fine." _For now._ "But it would have been nice if you'd at least checked with me before making a decision like this."

"I'm sorry." He hugged her from behind and kissed the top of her head. "I didn't think."  
  
"Well, you'd better start," she said irritably. "Sometimes it can be a really important decision…and you don't even realize it at the time." She realized with horror that hot tears were gathering in the corners of her eyes.  
  
"Hey." Gently yet firmly, Vash's hands took the bag from hers and turned her around to face him. "What's wrong?"  
  
"What makes you think anything's wrong?" She bent her head slightly so that her bangs fell over her face, but he tilted her chin up with his hand.  
  
"You don't usually cry when everything's fine." He caressed her cheek with his thumb. "Will you tell me? Please?"  
  
She wiped her eyes. This wasn't how she'd pictured it, but she couldn't put it off forever. "All right. I think we should sit down first, though."  
  
"Okay." Looking serious and a little scared now, he let go of her and sat down at the table. She followed, still focusing more on her hands than his face.  
  
She took a deep breath. She'd imagined a hundred different ways to lead up to this gently, but they were all eluding her now. "I'm pregnant."  
  
Silence.  
  
After a moment, Meryl looked up. Vash still wore a vaguely comforting expression, but his eyes seemed much wider than before. "Vash? Did you hear me?"  
  
"Pregnant," he repeated slowly. "You said that, right? It wasn't just in my head?"  
  
"Yes. I saw the doctor today."  
  
"That's why you've been sick," he said distractedly.  
  
"Yeah." She picked at a hangnail. "I don't know what to say. I certainly didn't expect this to happen."  
  
"Me either." Some of the shock on his face gave way to a tentative smile. "But…it's still good news, right?" His grin grew wider. "I mean, we're going to have a baby! We're going to be parents!"  
  
Meryl went rigid. He looked so happy. Like he didn't see any of the potential problems. Hell, some of them were already more than potential. "That's not what I said, Vash."  
  
His smile slowly faded. "What? But you said."  
  
"I said I'm pregnant." She carefully folded her hands in her lap. "Vash, there are certain options we need to consider."  
  
"What `options'?" Vash sounded as if he didn't quite trust his ears. "I love you. You love me. We can give the baby a good home to grow up in. What else do you need to think about?"  
  
Dammit, there's more than that!" She slammed a fist on the table. "There's a lot to think about before I decide whether I'm going to have it."  
  
He shook his head incredulously. "I'm sorry if I fail to see what's left to think about."  
  
"How about the fact that we don't even know what it is?" She practically yelled.  
  
He blinked. "What do you mean? It's our baby."  
  
Meryl winced. "We aren't supposed to be able to conceive, Vash. You said so   
yourself. Just because it happened anyways doesn't mean it would be just like   
a normal pregnancy." She wrapped her arms around her middle and shivered. "You're a plant. I'm not. Who knows what will happen if we go through with this?"  
  
"I know it's scary." Vash spoke patiently, using the same tone she'd heard him use on many of the children of the godforsaken planet. "But if we just support each other during all this then everything will be fine, you'll see."  
  
"No, I don't see, and you don't either," she shot back. "Don't you get it? The baby could be deformed or worse. It might not be able to breathe right or even think right because our genes don't mix the way they should."  
  
"But…they do. They must be able to, or else you wouldn't already be pregnant."  
  
Meryl shook her head. "That doesn't mean anything. You're old enough; haven't you ever seen what happens when a smule manages to mate with a thomas? They reproduce all right, but the result is never good."  
  
"You're not a thomas, and I'm not a smule," he pointed out.  
  
"No. We're further apart genetically than they are," she said. "We don't even know what would come out even if I'm capable of carrying to term. It might die before then. It might not be able to survive at all. Whatever it is, it was never meant to exist."  
  
"I was never meant to exist, either," Vash snapped. "Would you rather I wasn't   
here?"  
  
"That's not what I meant and you know it," she said, her voice low.  
  
"The only thing I know is that you seem to be determined to make this a bad thing," he said tersely. "I know there are a lot of questions, but we'll find the answers and get through this together, like we always do. Why can't you be happy about this?"  
  
"How can I be happy when I don't even know what's happening in my own body?" She practically shouted at him. "You can't just smile and wish everything will be all right and have it turn out that way. This is real and it's happening to me and I can't pretend everything is fine when I know it's not."  
  
"It's happening to us," he insisted.  
  
"Oh, really? Are you the one carrying who-knows-what inside her? Are you the one whose body is going to be affected by incredible changes? Are you the one facing the possibility of giving birth to something that might not even be able to survive? There's no medical precedent for this. We don't even know what it might do to me, if my body can take caring for a plant child." Meryl glared at him. "Let's be very clear on this, Vash. As far as it matters right now, this. Is happening. To me."  
  
"So I've got no rights just because it's not my body?" He asked, sounding stung. "It's not like I didn't have a hand in creating this situation. Now what I have to say doesn't matter?"  
  
"Of course it does." Meryl deflated just a little bit. "That's why I want to sit down and talk about this, to decide what we're going to do next."

  
"Gee, how about we have a baby?" He snapped. "It seems logical to me."  
  
Her jaw dropped. "Did you hear any of what I just said?"  
  
"I heard it. You're saying that you don't want to have this baby."  
  
"That's not what I said!" She sank down in her chair and pressed her hands to her forehead. "I just don't know if it's the right thing. I don't know if it's fair to me or the baby, even if it does turn out all right."  
  
"Why wouldn't it be fair?"  
  
She looked up at him. "The person that's lying in a cot down the hall seems to me like reason number one."  
  
Vash flinched. "Knives is comatose. Anyway, he's not a part of this. This is about you and me and our child."  
  
"How can you say that?" Meryl protested. "You said yourself that Knives is going to wake up one of these days. You're the only one who can take care of him and he's not likely to repent for his sins and spend his days working at the general store. Is it fair to bring a child into a world where he'll grow up with a megalomaniacal, genocidal uncle? Don't you think Knives will be interested in another creature like you and him? Who knows what he'd do to it?"  
  
His eyes flashed. "Am I just a `creature' to you too?"  
  
"That's not what I said. Stop twisting my words."  
  
"I told you, I've got Knives under control," Vash went on. "That's not going to change if and when he wakes up. He can't take me out in his condition and I'm not going to let him hurt anyone I love."  
  
"Can you watch him all day, every day? I just…I need time to think." Her shoulders slumped. "I just don't know how much time we have."  
  
"I know how overwhelming this is," he said. "Look, why don't you just relax and get some sleep? I'll draw you a bath first. Everything will look better in the morning, I'm sure."  
  
Meryl watched as he calmly strode towards the door. Her gaze fell upon an empty mug that sat on the table. Throwing it at Vash suddenly seemed like a pretty good idea.  
  
So she did. He jumped as it crashed against the wall beside his head. "You don't want a bath?"  
  
"Don't patronize me, Vash," she spat. "You can't just say something soothing and expect this to go away. We have to deal with it."  
  
"What do you want me to say?" he asked, his face taking on an angry countenance-as angry as she'd ever seen him. "Do you want me to tell you I understand, that killing our baby is a good idea? I can't do that."  
  
"I don't want you to say that. I just want you to face reality," she countered. "I'm only about a month along. If...if having it isn't a good idea, then there's still time-"  
  
"No! Absolutely not!" He interrupted. "We can't do that!"  
  
She stood. "`We' aren't doing anything," she said slowly. "Whatever happens, happens to me. I am not about to bring a child into the world just to watch it suffer." She tried to walk past him out of the kitchen, but he moved to block her.  
  
"Don't say that," he said intensely. "It's not right. It's…"  
  
"It's my body," she interrupted him. "In the end, it's my decision." She pushed past him out of the room and grabbed her coat from its hook by the front door.  
  
"Where are you going? Meryl!" He called after her.  
  
"I don't know. Out." She opened the door and stepped through. "Don't wait up for me." Looking back, the last thing she saw before she slammed the door and the tears blurred her vision was Vash's face, looking absolutely stricken. 


	2. Leaving

Misconception

Chapter Two

Meryl rushed out of the apartment building and down the street before Vash could decide to stop her.  She didn't want to think about what would be said by either of them if she stayed any longer; things they may or may not mean, things that couldn't be taken back.  She let the tears stream freely down her cheeks as she moved down the sidewalk but refused to give in to the sob she felt bubbling up in her throat.

She felt more alone than she had when she'd realized the test results were positive.  All she wanted was to go back and cry in his arms, but she put the idea aside and kept walking, not paying much attention to where she was going.  She just kept putting one foot in front of the other, turning at random corners, running their fight over and over in her head.  Why was he being so stupidly stubborn?  She respected his feelings on the sanctity of life.  It was one of the things she loved most about him.  But this was different, dammit.  The idea of having an abortion nauseated her, but she wasn't one to hide from the necessities of reality no matter how much they sickened her.

Her footsteps slowed as a sudden lurch of her stomach alerted her to the fact that the nausea wasn't just mental.  Why the hell did they call it morning sickness when it came anytime?  Looking around frantically, she spotted a public trash can and sprinted over to it, just barely making it before she emptied the contents of her stomach and then some into the receptacle.  She heaved until there was nothing left, then leaned on the edge of the can for support, breathing in huge gulps of air.  She was dimly aware that passersby were giving her odd looks.  _Great, I must look like some pitiful drunk._  She tried not to give into the tears, but her shoulders shook with the effort.

"Meryl?"  Meryl picked her head up in surprise at the sound of her name.  "Is that you?"

She turned around.  A few feet away, grocery bag in hand, stood Milly, a concerned look on her face.  "Meryl, what's wrong?"  She rushed forward, dropping her bag.

"Oh, Milly."  Meryl managed a smile for half a second before a great sob overtook her.  "Everything."  She felt her friend's arms go around her and she leaned into them, crying as hard as she could as Milly rocked her back and forth.

***

"It was awful, Milly," Meryl said.  "He wasn't listening to anything I said and I just got so mad…I don't know what I'm going to do."  She wiped her eyes.  After she'd cried herself out somewhat, Milly had hurried Meryl back to her own apartment where she'd made tea for them both and gently--but firmly--insisted Meryl tell her what was wrong.  After the first few words, it had all come pouring out.

"I'm so sorry, Meryl."  Milly's blue eyes were wide and sorrowful, as if she could feel everything Meryl was feeling.  Hell, as empathetic as her friend was, she might be able to at that.  "Do you know what you're going to do next?"

Meryl shook her head.  "I have no idea," she said.  "I don't even know what we'll say to each other after this.  I feel so…embarrassed."  She flushed bright pink.  "I just wanted to sit down and talk about this rationally, like adults, and instead I screamed at him.  Some adult I am.  But he was being so—infuriating!  He wasn't even trying to see my point of view!  I shouldn't have to be the only person thinking about the problems."

"Meryl," Milly said softly, and repeated her friend's name when she didn't look up right away.  "Do you want to have the baby?"

Meryl stared into her teacup.  "It's not a matter of wanting or not wanting to, Milly.  I told you, because Vash is a plant it could—"

"I know that, and I know you have to think about those things," Milly interrupted.  "But there's more to it than that.  You don't know for sure that something might be wrong with the baby.  It could all be perfectly fine.  If that happens, you'll be a mother.  Do you want that?"

Meryl was silent for a long time before answering.  "I…don't know."  She took another sip of her tea.  "It's all I've been thinking about when I haven't been worrying if it would even be possible.  I kept re-calculating my income and Bernardelli's medical benefits in case Vash decided to leave.  But when I think about me holding a baby—I can't see past that.  It's not that I don't like children, but I never considered them before we were together, and when we thought Vash and I couldn't have them anyway it didn't seem to matter.  But I don't know how to take care of a baby."  She wiped new tears from her eyes.  "I don't know if I can do this."

Milly reached over to squeeze Meryl's hand.  "Of course you can," she said.  "Meryl, you're the strongest person I know.  And the most important part of raising a child is love, and I know you've got plenty of that!"

Meryl was silent.

Milly decided to try again.  "Meryl, forget about what could go wrong for a minute.  Think about what could be right.  If you could guarantee that everything would turn out all right, would you want this baby with Vash?"

Meryl was quiet for another long moment before nodding faintly.

Milly beamed.  "See, that wasn't so hard!  Now all you have to do is tell him that."

 "I don't think it's that simple."

"Of course not."  Milly shook her head.  "But it's not as complicated as you're making it seem, either.  At least not this part of it.  I know he'll listen if you tell him how you feel, and then you can work the rest of it out together."

Meryl's eyes were once again bright with tears, but this time she was smiling.  "Why do you always have the answers?"

"Just talented, I guess.  But you don't need to worry anymore tonight."  She reached out to take Meryl's cup.  "Right now you need to get some sleep.  Take my bed; the couch is fine for me."

"I don't want to impose--" Meryl protested, but Milly shook her head, her jaw set determinedly.

"Whatever you decide, you've got to take care of yourself," Milly said.  She reached out and squeezed Meryl's hand.  "I'll be here for you no matter what," she said softly.  "I wish I could do more."

She smiled wanly.  "You already have, trust me."  She stood up slowly, legs swaying slightly in her post-cry exhaustion.  "Are you sure you don't want me to take the couch?  I'd fit on it a lot better."

"Nope.  Go to sleep."

"Thanks, Milly," Meryl murmured, and moved down the hall towards the bedroom.

Milly busied herself with cleaning up the teacups and putting away the groceries she'd been out shopping for.  After fifteen minutes or so, she crept down the hall and peeked into her room.  Meryl lay curled up on the bed, her breathing deep and even.  Satisfied, Milly shut the door quietly and headed back to her living room, where she picked up the phone.  She quickly dialed a well-memorized number and spoke as soon as the other end picked up.  "Vash, Meryl's here and she's fine."

She heard a swift intake of breath from the other end of the line.  "Oh, thank God," Vash breathed.  "Is she--how did you find--"

"I ran into her in the street.  She was crying." Milly paused.  "She told me what happened."

"Oh.  I…how is she now?"

"She's asleep right now, and I want her to spend the night here," she continued.  "I thought you'd want to know what she's all right."

"I do."  He sounded positively wretched.  "Milly, what am I supposed to do?  I love her so much.  I can't stand to hurt her but I can't imagine getting rid of our own baby.  I never thought I'd have anyone or get the chance to be a father and I don't know what to do to make this better."

"I think you need to say some of this to Meryl," Milly said gently.  "She's scared too.  I think what she needs more than anything is to know that you'll love her no matter what happens."

"I do.  I will.  But what if she decides she doesn't want to have the baby?  I don't know if I could just stand by and watch it happen."

"I think she wants this baby, too," Milly said.  "She's just scared of what could happen.  You two need to talk when you're not all worked up.  Nothing gets solved that way.  She needs to know you'll support her," she said softly. "It's very important that you do that, Vash.  You don't want to lose someone you love…not when you don't have to."

"I think you're right."  His voice was soft.

"Of course I am."  She smiled into the receiver.  "I'll send her home in the morning.  Now you get some sleep too, all right?  I don't want you to stay up all night worrying."

"I'll try."

***

Vash did try, but it seemed that when he finally laid down to rest scarcely a moment passed before the sun was rising and he was wide awake.  He attempted to make a pot of coffee before giving up—that was her domain, and he just ended up with lumpy water. He retreated to the couch, flopping down to think.

It was time to re-assess the situation.  He'd been shaken to the core by Meryl's announcement that she was pregnant.  It wasn't that he didn't know how these things happened, of course, but even with his limited knowledge of his own true nature, Vash had always assumed that he would not be able to create life with a human woman.  He'd confessed this to her during one of the many late-night, cuddled-close talks that occurred after he returned to her.  Neither of them had given it much thought at the time.  Both of them were too drunk with new love and freedom from shadowy threats to worry about the future.

Now?  Vash was gripped by a mixture of joy and terror.  He, who'd expected to be alone, had helped create a new life.  They could build a family, a home, no matter what happened with Knives.  In the aftermath of shock, dizzy joy was all Vash could feel.  Now he felt sick.  He comforted himself with the knowledge that Meryl was in Milly's good hands and hadn't done anything rash.  Not that he'd expected her to, or he would have chased after her, but it did help relieve the pressure of the invisible vice that seemed to grasp his chest.

Their child.  A hybrid child.  The night before he'd only been able to think about what a miracle this seemed, but Vash had lived long enough to know that miracles came with a price.  Meryl's words echoed through his mind, made worse by the fact that they could be true.  What would he do then?  Vash didn't know.

His train of thought was interrupted by the sound of the front door opening.  He rose to his feet as she stepped inside.  He wasn't sure what to expect—more yelling, maybe, or tears—but she just looked at him a moment, pale and expressionless, and moved to hang her coat up on its hook.

He moved towards her, but stopped when he got within a couple of feet of her.  "How are you?" he blurted out.

She glanced at him briefly before turning partially away so that he couldn't see her whole face.  "I'm all right," she said.  "Milly let me sleep in her bed.  It's stupid, since her legs hang off the end of her couch and I'd fit on it perfectly well.  But you know Milly."

He nodded.  "Did you sleep all right?"

She shrugged.  "I guess.  I kept having…dreams."  She sighed and stepped away.  "Look, I'm kind of tired, so I think I want to lie down for a little bit."

"Meryl, wait."

His words stopped her, but she didn't turn around.  "Vash, please, I just can't…"  He could hear the choked-back tears in her voice.

"I'm so sorry," he said, a tear of his own falling down his cheek.  "I didn't sleep at all last night, and I…can we just start over?  Forget what we said yesterday?  We can work through this together, can't we?"

She turned to face him, revealing the telltale streaks on her face.  "Vash…"  For a moment he feared she was going to walk away again, but instead she let out a choked little sob and threw herself into his arms.

He wrapped his arms around her and hugged her fiercely, rocking them back and forth as her shoulders shook with sobs.  "I'm sorry," he murmured into her hair.  "I should have listened to what you were saying, I shouldn't have been such a pigheaded ass…"

"No," she murmured.  She wiped her eyes and looked up at him, smiling slightly.  "I mean, you were an ass.  But I just dumped everything on you and expected you to understand right away…I didn't give you time to digest it."  She let out a long, shaky breath.  "I guess we were both pretty bad."

"Yeah."  He squeezed her once more.  "Here, let's sit down."

She let him take her hand and lead her to the couch, where they sat together.  Looking at their joined hands, Meryl realized she wasn't sure what to say next.  She decided to try anyway.  "Vash, I—"

"Wait," he interrupted.  "I need to say something first."  He took a breath and looked her in the eye.  "I'm willing to talk about what we should do next, but I want to decide together.  This might not affect me the same way it does you, but it's still going to change both of our lives, one way or the other.  We created this—situation—together.  It kinda hurts to think I can't be part of the decision."

Meryl lowered her eyes.  "I shouldn't have lost my temper.  Of course I want you to be part of it."

"You know how I feel, though" he said.  "I don't want you to end the pregnancy.  I want to have our baby.  That's not going to change.  I'm sorry I didn't listen better yesterday, but I'm not sorry for how I feel."

"There's more to consider than wanting it, though," she replied.  "The differences between us…I wasn't just saying those things to upset you, Vash.  We don't know what will happen or if I'm even capable of carrying to term."

He winced slightly, but nodded.  "I know."

"But…"  She stroked the back of his hand with hers.  "I want to try to have the baby, too."

His eyes widened.  "Y-you do?"  His whole face seemed to lighten as a tentative smile grew.

Meryl nodded.  "I did a lot of thinking last night.  Before, I was so worried about what could happen that I didn't think about what I wanted to happen…and I realized I want this, with you.  And I need you."  She clung to him suddenly, breath shaky.  "I'm so scared," she whispered.  "I want to believe this can be all right, but I keep thinking of what could go wrong.  This world is hard enough to live in as it is—I don't know if I could bear it if the baby had it that much worse just because of what we are.

Vash rocked her against him.  "Shh, it'll be okay…"

"You don't know that!" She pressed her face against his shoulder, hot tears soaking through his shirt.  "I'm scared for me, too.  What's this going to do to me?  What if something happens and you're left with the baby and Knives?  What if he tries to take it?"  She shivered.  "I feel so out of control."

"I'll be right here the whole time," he said.  "Every step of the way."

"I just wish I knew where to begin."  She sighed then looked up when he didn't say anything.  "Vash?"

"I think I do," he said slowly.

***

Richard Broadfield had, on his journey from lowly Associate Third-Class Broadfield to December Section Chief Broadfield, long ceased feeling any surprise at the challenges that his job presented.  Though few people thought of insurance as a creative field, he'd often had to admire the innovation people exhibited when coming up with reasons to get the honorable Bernardelli Insurance Company to pay their claims.  Even more interesting were the stories behind the legitimate claims, especially with Vash the Stampede running around the planet.

Still, he had to admit to some surprise as he read the paperwork that sat on his desk, something this particular agent was not known to cause in him.  That was one of the reasons he'd chosen this particular agent to lead the Stampede Surveillance Project, as it had come to be known; she was hard-working, meticulous in her reports, and someone he'd privately marked as a possible successor to his duties.  However, the paperwork she'd just submitted marked a major change in behavior.

Well, there was only one way to find out the cause.  "Carol?"  He called out to his secretary.  "Have Stryfe come in here immediately."

Less than two minutes later, Meryl was standing in front of his desk, looking uncharacteristically tense for someone whose personnel file held nothing but positive marks.  "Can I help you, sir?"

Broadfield nodded.  "I received a special request a little bit ago, Miss Stryfe."  He gestured to the papers on his desk.  She barely glanced at them, undoubtedly familiar with their contents since she'd filled them out herself.  "It says you're asking for a leave of absence."

She nodded.  "Yes, sir."

"May I ask why?"

She colored slightly, and inwardly he marveled at what could possibly have nonplussed Stryfe so.  "It's…personal, sir."

"Personal."

"Yes, sir."

He drummed his knuckles against the solid oak surface, giving her a long look before speaking again.  "Well, there's a problem with it.  You haven't filled in the amount of time you're requesting off."

"I don't know how long, sir."  She spoke quietly.

He gave her another long, calm look.  "You know the policies, Miss Stryfe.  Unless it's for medical reasons, I cannot grant an extended leave of absence without a reason.  The company demands stability and organization."  He spread his hands on the desk.  "I don't want to see you go.  If you can give me a reason, any reason…"

She remained silent and distinctly ill-at-ease.

"Does this have anything to do with the Stampede case?"  he asked.  "Residual stress?  Despite initial losses, your work on that case was very good and it seems to have been ultimately effective.  If you need compensatory vacation time…"

"That's not it," Meryl said, her tone still calm even as her expression betrayed anxiety.  "I'm sorry, sir, but I really can't explain.  It's…"

"Personal, yes."

"Sir, if this is unacceptable, I am willing to submit my resignation."  There was no threat in her tone, just resignedness.

He shuffled a few papers on his desk in a gesture that gave him a few more moments of silence.  "Here's what I think will happen," he said.  "You're free to leave and take care of whatever personal business you have.  As an ex-employee of Bernardelli's, you'll be entitled to a written recommendation if you choose to seek employment elsewhere.  Once your business is finished, I believe there will most likely be an opening in your department if you come back."  He picked up a pen and signed the bottom of the request form.  "Good luck, Meryl.  I hope we'll see you again."

***

Meryl closed her locker door with a small sigh.  It wasn't regret, exactly; thanks to the Chief's generosity, it was likely that she would be back, one way or another.  But it was certain that however things went, her life would be very different the next time she saw the inside of the storage space.

There wasn't much for her to take away: her mantle, her pocketbook, a silly drawing of her and Vash that he'd tucked into her briefcase one day before work.  She'd leave the mirror.

Milly was smiling at her as she turned around.  "Ready to go?"

"I suppose."  Meryl smiled faintly.  "Try not to get in too much trouble without me, all right?"

"I promise."  Milly reached out to hug her, though not as forcefully as her usual embraces were.  "Take care of yourself, and Mr. Vash."

"I promise."

Meryl passed through the sea of clicking typewriters without interruption.  She wasn't surprised or annoyed.  With the exception of Milly's friendship, Meryl had taken great pains to keep her personal life at home since their field work had ended—it wouldn't do to mix work and pleasure any more than she already had.

A blue truck was parked outside when Meryl returned, in the never-used spot reserved for their unit.  It was the kind with a roof over the bed, and when she passed by she was startled to see Knives lying inside, still unconscious and tied to a travois of some sort.  It seemed that Vash had been busy while she was away.

He greeted her at the door, a bulging suitcase in each hand.  "Need some help?"

"Nope, I've got them."  Moving briskly, he opened the back of the truck to deposit the luggage next to Knives' still form.  "What else do we need?" Meryl asked.

"Nothing."  Vash shook his head.  "I've got everything."

"So I see."  She glanced at Knives.  "Are you sure he'll be welcome?"

Vash sighed.  "Not really," he admitted.  "I don't see what choice I have, though. I can't just leave him here."  He leaned over to place an arm around her shoulders.  "Don't worry, it'll be all right."

"Mmm."  She laid her head on his shoulder.  "Vash, do you really think they can help us?"

"I don't know," he said quietly.  "But even after the crash, the ship had more medical technology than what survived here on the planet.  If anyone knows what to do, it'll be Doc."  He squeezed her before letting go.  "Come on.  It's a long way to New Oregon.

Meryl didn't look back as Vash steered them through the streets of December and away into the desert.  There was no point to it; they'd already left their old life behind for good.

Vash glanced sidelong at Meryl as he drove, noting that her hand had once more strayed to her abdomen, fingers idly stroking.  Careful not to run off the road, he placed his hand lightly over hers.  "Is that where…?"

She smiled wanly.  "So I'm told."

"Can I feel?"

"There's nothing to feel yet, Vash."  Regardless of her words, she let his hand press to her middle, guiding it with her own to the right spot.

Vash concentrated hard, searching for any trace of a movement or spark of life, but there felt nothing that hadn't been there weeks or months before, nothing to indicate the presence of what had suddenly become the most precious thing in the world to him.

He amended that thought as Meryl leaned her head on his shoulder and slid an arm around him.  One of the most precious things.

Thanks to the usual crew for being betawenches.  Apologies to Grey if I missed any of her wondrous nitpicks as I am ass-tired.


	3. Welcome

Bah.  I wanted to update this last week, but a fit of pique as well as actual work-type things prevented that.  Huge thanks to Arafel and Clinesterton to kicking this chapter into postable shape.

Misconception

Chapter Three

The road to New Oregon was long, and it only took a few hours for the sight of endless sand dunes and gritty earth passing outside the windows of the truck to get old.  By the time the suns began to go down, they were hundreds of iles away from the city they called home and Meryl's seat was growing more and more uncomfortable no matter which way she turned.  Vash seemed to be perfectly peaceful despite the fact that he'd been driving for hours without a break.

"Do you want to switch?" she asked.

Vash glanced sideways for scarcely a moment, intent on the road.  "That's all right.  I know the way better, and you should rest."

Meryl suppressed a growl.  "I'm not an invalid.  Besides, sitting in one spot for hours at a stretch isn't exactly relaxing me.  Can we at least stop somewhere to stretch our legs?"

"Right, sorry."  He looked properly contrite.  "I'll pull over at the next town.  We can walk around and get some sandwiches."

Meryl's relief at this statement faded when Vash allowed them no more than twenty minutes in the next tiny burg.  She'd never seen him so driven—she'd grown too used to watching him wander as aimlessly as a tumbleweed.

_But then, he didn't have such a reason to rush before._  With a sigh, she leaned against him and tried to get some rest.

Meryl was nearly asleep when the growing-to-be familiar feeling of her stomach lurching sideways jerked her awake.  "Vash, pull over," she mumbled through the sickening lump that rose in her throat.

"Oh?  Do you have to go to the bathroom?"  Vash glanced sideways at her but didn't slow down.  "If you can hang on a little longer, there's a town coming that that will have some sanitary—"

"Pull over NOW!"  Her shout startled him into following her orders, and Meryl swung open the door of the car as he slowed to a stop.  The gritty sand was harsh against her knees, but she barely noticed as she emptied the contents of her stomach onto the desert.  She heaved again, the nausea coming in waves.  She was dimly aware of the sound of Vash's door opening and his heavy footsteps moving around the car to her side.

"Here, take this."  Breathing heavily, she accepted the water bottle Vash pressed into her hands, drinking and swishing the liquid around her mouth to rid it of the sour taste of vomit.

"Thanks."  He placed his hands on her shoulders, rubbing gently, and Meryl leaned into them.  "Welcome to pregnancy," she said.

"I thought this sort of thing was supposed to happen in the morning."  He helped her to her feet and away from the mess. "Can I do anything?"

Meryl shook her head.  "Just wait it out.  I'll be grateful if this is the worst I have to face."

 "I don't like seeing you sick."

"I don't, either."  She opened the passenger-side door and climbed inside  "Come on, we should go a little farther before we have to stop for the night."

"Are you sure?  You won't get sick again?"

"I'm all right now," Meryl assured him.  "It's not really motion sickness.  Besides, I don't think there's anything left to come up," she added, wrinkling her nose.

It was a short distance to the next town, and they pulled into Mooresville as the last stars were coming out.  Vash paid for a room at the closest inn, and Meryl crawled into bed as soon as they entered.  She stopped only to remove her leggings but was content to remain in her blouse as long as she could.  She fell into a light doze, dimly aware of Vash dragging Knives' cot into a corner of the room.  Once his twin was properly settled, Vash stepped into the bathroom to perform his usual evening ablutions.  The creak of the mattress woke her again as he lay down beside her.

"Hey," she said, rolling over to face him.

"Hey," he replied in a low tone.  "I didn't mean to wake you."

"Don't worry about it."  Meryl let him put an arm around her and snuggled into him.  

"You smell nice."  They lay together in silence for a few minutes before she spoke again.  

"Vash?"

"Yes?"

"Never mind.  I don't know what I was going to say."

"Are you sure?"  Vash traced her eyebrow with one finger, his breath soft against her skin.  "What are you thinking about?"

"Honestly?"  Meryl pulled away so she could see his face.  "I wish my mother were here."

Vash raised an eyebrow.  "It'd be kind of crowded, don't you think?"

She pondered hitting him with a pillow.  "Not _here_ here.  It's just…"  She started over.  "When I was a little girl and I had a problem, I went to my mother because I knew she could fix it, no matter what it was.  I really wish I could do that now.  I wish she would just hug me and promise everything would be all right and it would be because she said so."

"I think that sounds pretty good," Vash said.

Meryl shrugged.  "Not like it could happen anyway.  I didn't adore my mother so much once I got older, and we've never really been close since I moved out.  If she was here right now, she'd probably want to kill me."

 "Why's that?"

"I've committed what she assured me was the ultimate sin when I was a teenager," she said.  "I got pregnant outside of marriage, by the world's most famous outlaw, no less."

"So you're saying I should make sure she's unarmed when I meet your parents?"

"Unless you feel like being marched to a priest at gunpoint, yes."

"That doesn't sound so bad."

Meryl looked away.  "Vash…"

"I'm not suggesting anything," he said.  "Not yet.  I know there's a lot left to do just to find out whether the baby will even be okay.  Just thinking out loud, that's all."  Vash smiled gently.  "Go to sleep now.  We've still got a long drive tomorrow."

***

It was early evening when they reached New Oregon.  Meryl's memories of the town itself were faint.  She'd spent most of her time there as a hostage on yet another hijacked sandsteamer.  Then they'd found Vash again, and the warm joy she'd felt had overshadowed any other remembrance.  The fallen ship was visible long before they reached the outskirts of the city, its gray metal hull shining dully under the two suns. 

A few dwellings dotted the land outside of the ship, but there seemed to be no one around.  As they drove by one house, Meryl thought she saw something move rapidly back from the window.  "Where is everybody?" she asked.  "Is the town just ignoring the ship?"

"I don't know," Vash replied, looking solemn.  They drove around the border of the ship before Vash spotted an entranceway that appeared to be in use, judging by the hard-packed path leading up to it.

Meryl stared at the strange doorway as they approached it.  She ran a hand over the smooth metal that wasn't yet wearied by the blowing sands.  "How does it work?"  She felt stupid for having to ask the question, but no handle or catch was immediately apparent.

"Like this."  Vash stepped up to a small key panel to the left of the door and punched in a series of numbers without hesitation.  Meryl jumped away from the door as it moved into the wall with a low groan—and jumped again when it revealed two glaring men holding guns pointed right at them.  "What are you doing here?" one man growled.

One of Meryl's hands went to her abdomen, the other to a derringer, but she dropped it when Vash placed a calming hand on her arm.  "I'm here to see Doc," Vash answered.

"Oh yeah?" The same man sneered at them while the other remained silent.  She noticed that they held the guns strangely—gingerly, as if they knew _what _one did with them but not quite _how_This didn't comfort her; untrained men wielding weapons were often more dangerous than those who were comfortable with them.  "What if we tell you Doc's not available anymore?" he continued.

"Did something happen to Doc?"  Vash's voice rose and Meryl felt another stab of dread.  If something had happened to this friend of Vash's, if he couldn't help them…

"Doc is fine, no thanks to you."  The second man finally spoke.  His eyes were rimmed with red, and he held his gun steadier than his partner did.  "He's just too busy to see you at the moment.  There's been a lot to deal with since you crashed our home."

Vash's flinch was tiny, but Meryl noticed it.  "Look, I'm not here to hurt anyone," he said.

The first man snorted.  "Aren't we lucky.  This time you might blow the place up instead of just crashing it."

Vash ignored him.  "I just need to see Doc," he continued.  "Please, it's important.  No one's after me anymore; there's no danger."

"Why should we believe that?"

"Look, just let me see Doc for a minute," Vash argued.  "If he tells me to leave, I will."

The men took a long time to answer, looking Vash up and down—noting, Meryl was sure, the lack of a gun by his side.  Not for the first time, she felt grateful for her hidden weapons.  

"All right," one man said at last.  "We'll take you.  But you better be careful."

"Thank you."

Though there was no one in the halls of the ship that they passed through, Meryl had the uncomfortable feeling that they were being watched.  A shiver ran down her back, and she was grateful for Vash's hand as he laced his fingers together with hers.  The ship was the strangest place she had ever seen.  After living in December and later visiting some of the planet's largest cities, she'd seen plenty of buildings constructed of metal, but even those were usually supplemented with stone and whatever other materials were available.  This place was entirely metal.  Sleek and attractive, but alien.

The sounds of human activity reached them before the hall ended in a common area.  There were a few people in the larger room, conversing with each other at the tables that dotted the room.  Some were eating from small meal trays; others seemed to be going over computer printouts.  

A woman glanced up at them and gasped, then tugged on her companion's shirt and pointed.  In the twenty or so seconds it took the cross the room, the sounds of people whispering rose to a low buzz, and everyone was staring at them.  Meryl was faintly glad that the men leading them were moving too swiftly for them to stop, otherwise she might have turned on her heel and demanded to know what was so damn scary about Vash.  His brother was the psychotic one, not him.  None of what had happened was his fault!  She wanted to shout at them, but she couldn't, so she just kept moving.

The route they took was long and twisting.  By the time they took an elevator to a different level, Meryl was feeling thoroughly lost and irritated.  Why did these people seem to think Vash was some sort of criminal?  He was just a man who'd been dealt a hand in life far more difficult than anything they'd have to face.  Vash hadn't wanted any of this; all he wanted was to live peacefully.  

Their escorts halted abruptly in front of a door set away from the main hall.  "He's here," one said, looking unhappy about it.

"Come on in."  A muffled voice answered Vash's knock, and they stepped inside.  Once there, Meryl was faced with an elderly Asian man seated at a desk.  Looking at him, she felt an absurd sense of relief that there was someone in the world who was shorter than she was.

"Vash!" the man exclaimed.  "How wonderful to see you!  I'm sorry didn't greet you.  We weren't expecting visitors."

"Yeah, I could tell."  Vash sighed but grinned anyway.  "Meryl, this is Doctor Chi Wu.  Just call him Doc.  Doc, this is Meryl."

"It's a pleasure to meet you," she said.  "Vash speaks very highly of you."

Doc smiled and reached out to shake her hand.  "Well, you can never take him too seriously.  Please, have a seat."

"Doc, what's happening around here?" Vash asked.  "I've been greeted with guns before, but I never expected it from anyone here."

Doc's smile slipped.  "There have been a lot of changes around here, Vash.  After the crash, people got scared.  I blame myself.  I should have known we'd all end up here sooner or later.  I should have done more to prepare them."  He pulled a miniature blueprint from his top drawer and indicated a section that was circled and surrounded by new construction notes.  "The lower three levels of the ship were too damaged to use, but we landed in a remarkably stable position.  It's still safe for us to live here, but I know we can't pretend the outside world doesn't exist anymore."

"What about the people from New Oregon?" Vash asked.  "I can't believe they haven't been all over this place."

 "Credit Max for that," Doc said.  "His standing in the local community helped him convince the townspeople that we meant no harm.  Since then he's acted as a go-between," he said.  "A few did journey out here after the crash.  I'm afraid they didn't know what to make of us.  Max managed to persuade them to leave us alone, of course never letting on that he used to live here.  We're lucky to have him.  A few of our braver souls have established a small village just outside the ship, as I'm sure you noticed."  He sighed.  "It's been very difficult, Vash.  Not everyone is taking our new lifestyle well.  Some are willing to explore the land.  Others are living in denial, hoping we can somehow make the ship fly again.  Most are just scared."  He straightened in his seat.  "But enough of that.  What brings you here?  Is it Knives?"

"Not really."  Vash rubbed the back of his head.  "Actually, Knives is still in the truck.  He's not awake!"  He rushed to reassure Doc at the sight of the other man's eyebrows shooting upward.  "I finally found him.  We fought, and I won.  He's been in a coma ever since.  But that's not why we're here."  There was a slight pink tinge to his face.  "You see…well, Meryl and I, we sort of…and it's like this…"

"I'm pregnant," Meryl announced.

"It's mine," Vash added helpfully.  She gave him a dirty look.

Doc blinked a few times.  "Well.  I suppose that is pretty serious."  He peered at Meryl and she squirmed under his gaze.  "How far along are you?  How do you feel?"

"A little over a month, I think," she said.  "I've been more tired than usual, and there's been some nausea, but nothing too bad.  Everything seems normal as far as I can tell.  But with what Vash is…is normal even possible?"

"I'll have to examine you in order to even hope to answer that," Doc replied, not unkindly.  "It's a good sign that you didn't miscarry in the first few weeks."  He looked at Vash.  "There's a lot we don't know about the plants.  Even with all the information in the ship's database, there's very little we know about their true nature.  Sometimes I wonder how much even the original crews knew.  Since we found Vash and he allowed me to examine him, I've wondered just how many connections between plants and humans do exist.  Look at you, Vash.  Spontaneously born from a plant, without human aid, and yet you have all the outward characteristics of a normal human male.  Obviously."

Vash and Meryl both tried—and failed—not to turn red.  Vash jumped in to move the topic away from what characteristics he did or did not share with a normal human.  "So, Doc, can you help us?"

 "I'll do my best, Vash," Doc said.  "No matter what some people may feel right now, as far as I am concerned, you're one of us and you'll always be welcome here.  Both of you."  He reached for a small book on his desk and opened it to a listing of appointments.  "If it's all right with you, I'd like to see you both first thing in the morning.  I want some time to look over Vash's medical records, and I've got a few patients in sickbay who need my attention.  Besides, I'm sure you're tired from your journey."

Vash nodded.  "Thank you, Doc."

***

Vash stood alone in front of the bulb that held the ship's remaining plant.  That the being inside it had survived the trauma of the Gung-Ho Guns' attack and the subsequent crash was a miracle.  It was almost ironic that the being responsible for the trauma, one of her own kind, now shared the protection of her bulb.

It was the only way.  The ship folk might have mixed feelings towards Vash, but he was certain that if they found out that Knives was lying helpless in sick bay, they would kill his brother without a second thought.  He couldn't quite blame them, but he couldn't let it happen, either.  This way Knives would be protected and would still be confined if he were he to awaken from his sleep.

Meryl had changed into her nightshirt when he returned to the small, out-of-the-way quarters Doc had given them.  Her hair was still damp from the shower.

"Hi."  He leaned down to kiss her, noting her weariness.  "Feeling more relaxed now?"

"A bit."  She smiled.  "How's Knives?"

"Resting comfortably."

"Hopefully that will make two of us in a few minutes."  Meryl yawned.  "I'm exhausted.  Sitting in a small and uncomfortable seat all day really takes it out of you."

"You should sleep.  Do you mind if I go talk to someone before I join you?"

"Go ahead."  She flopped down onto the bed and waved him away.  "I'm so tired I doubt I'll even notice you're gone."

"All right."  Vash stayed for a few more minutes, listening as her breath slowed and grew more even.  Once he was sure she was asleep, he untucked the other side of the blanket she laid on to drape it over her.  He brushed his lips over her temple before leaving the room and retracing his steps to Doc's office.

"Doc, have you got a few minutes?"

The smaller man looked up from his desk.  "For you, Vash, as much time as you need.  What can I do for you?  I assumed you'd want some time to rest."

"Well, yeah, but there's something I need to tell you about," Vash said, scratching the back of his head.  "Something Meryl doesn't know."

Doc raised an eyebrow.  "What's that?"

Vash sat in the chair across from the desk.  "It's about my arm," he said.  "When I was searching for Knives, he sent a number of his henchmen after me.  One of them…had my arm."

Doc frowned.  "I don't understand.  You mean your old mechanical?"

"No," Vash said.  "I mean my real arm.  The one I lost in July.  Knives attached it to Legato's body."

He looked up.  A slight paling of Doc's face was the only sign of surprise or disgust.  "I see," he said.

"Don't ask me to explain how Knives' mind works," Vash said.  "I suppose he thought it would bring me closer to him."

"Are you sure that he was telling the truth?"

Vash nodded.  "Legato loved to cause pain through the truth.  He had no reason to lie."

"What happened to him?"

"I shot him," Vash replied quietly.

The air was still for a long moment before Vash spoke again.

"It's just…I was thinking.  If he could wear my arm, if it was a successful graft, doesn't that mean there's a possibility that humans and plants like Knives and me could be compatible with humans?"

"It might," Doc said.  "I wouldn't have dreamed that such a procedure would be possible, but I don't see how any human could wear a totally alien body part.  Organ transplants between humans are very difficult under the best of circumstances and impossible between totally incompatible species." 

Vash's shoulders slumped in relief.  "God, I hope so.  I didn't tell Meryl because—well, it's pretty freaky, and I didn't want to get her hopes up if you didn't think it was anything.  But I wanted so badly to believe it myself—"

"Vash."  Doc leaned forward. "Have you thought about what might happen if the baby's not all right?"

Vash looked up.  "I've barely been able to think about anything else."

"I'll examine Meryl, and I'll do anything I can to help her if there's a possibility that your baby can be born healthy," Doc said.  "But I can't guarantee a miracle.  There's so much we don't know about the plants, and so many ways that you're different from them.  I can't predict how a hybrid child will grow in her womb.  It may not develop properly.  It may grow too quickly and become a danger to Meryl's life.  If it comes down to it, you may have to make a choice between Meryl and the baby."

"I know."  Vash's head hung low.

Doc stood up and walked around his desk to place a comforting hand on Vash's shoulder.  "I'll do my best, and if luck is with us, you won't have to make that choice.  You need to think about it, but right now I think that it's best that you get some rest.  Wearing yourself out isn't going to help you, Meryl, or the baby."

"All right."  Vash stood.  "I'll see you in the morning, Doc."

"First thing."

Meryl didn't appear to have moved an inch when Vash returned to her room.  He slipped his shoes off and curled up on top of the sheets beside her.  A mixture of fear and hope filled him as he waited for sleep and the answers morning would bring.


	4. Dawn

Pre-fic notes:

1) I swear I don't know how this "year between updates" thing happened.  Let's say I was kidnapped by elves or something, because it's less embarrassing that way.

2) Many thanks to Arafel for beta'ing this.  You're very good at pointing out all the BS I need to lose.  ^_^

3) This chapter involves some fudging of medical technology.  Nothing drastic; just don't feel the need to point out that things might not happen exactly this way in real life.  Well, I won't be offended if you do, but odds are great that I already know.  Besides, it's centuries in the future.  They can have whatever wacky technology I say they can.  AHAHAHA AUTHOR POWER!

Erm, anyway.  Feedback is lovely and appreciated.

Misconception

Chapter Four

"Vash?  It's time.  Are you ready?"

Vash grinned, errant joyful tears escaping down his cheeks.  So this was it, the moment they'd been awaiting for months.  His baby was about to enter the world.  "Ready," he managed.

Doc turned his attention back to the expectant mother.  "All right, Meryl, it's time for you to push.  Just a little longer and you'll have your baby."  She just nodded, eyes pinched shut with effort.  "That's good.  You're getting closer…there's the head!"  Doc's cry of success indicated the end of her trials and she fell back, breathing heavily.

Vash closed his own eyes, suddenly overcome with dizziness.  This was it.  Their new life as a family had arrived.  There was no turning back.

It felt wonderful.

Doc was very still, looking down at the bundle in his arms, and Vash's impatience got the better of him.  "Can I hold her?  Is it all right?"  Doc didn't move. Then it struck Vash—other than the sound of Meryl's breathing, the room was silent.  "Isn't she supposed to cry?"

Slowly, Doc turned to face him, and his haunted expression caused Vash's stomach to clench.  He looked at his daughter.  She was tiny, pink, and perfect; and she wasn't breathing.

Doc shook his head.  "I'm so sorry, Vash.  The differences…they must have been too great…"

A great animal wail burst from Vash's throat.  He took the baby from Doc's unresisting arms and clasped her to his chest as if he could somehow share his own life force with the child.

She was so tiny, but she could have grown up strong and intelligent and beautiful.  All their hopes, everything they'd planned for…gone with the life that had fled this newborn body.

A soft sigh and a loud beeping from the monitors tore Vash's attention from his grief.  Meryl was slumped sideways, her face slack.  It was only then that Vash saw the great quantity of blood staining the sheets around her.

"No…"  The whisper slipped out from between Vash's lips and he found that even as Doc sprang into action, he could not move.  "Not you too…please, don't leave me…"

The room began to swirl around him and he fell to his knees.  The inner warmth that he'd felt since Meryl came into his life dissipated and he knew that he had been a fool to believe that it could ever be different for him - only this time, the aching loneliness was worse because he knew just how precious was the life he'd lost…

Vash jerked upright, awakening to Meryl's warm and living presence next to him.  Hardly daring to believe that it had only been a nightmare, Vash rested his shaking hand against her back.  The tremors were evident and uncontrollable so he removed it, not wanting to awaken her, but it was too late.

"Vash?"  Meryl opened her eyes a crack.  "What's wrong?"

"It's nothing."  He tried to keep his voice calm and regular.  "Just a bad dream."

"Is it time to get up?"

"No, it's not morning yet.  Go back to sleep."

"All right…"  She snuggled into her pillow.  A little while later, her breathing became slow and regular, and he knew she was asleep again.

He lay back but didn't try to sleep.  No way was he going to risk a repeat performance of the dream.  The realization that his dream could  come true was worse.

Vash stared at the ceiling, wishing his precognition would improve with his night vision.  Doc's warning had not been idle caution.  He didn't want to think about what would happen if the baby didn't survive and he lost Meryl, too.  He knew how he would feel.  Losing the baby and Meryl now would crush him more than anything Knives had ever done.

***

As dawn broke, there were very few people awake and active on the ship.  Doc was one of them.  Inside his office, his desk was strewn with files.  After a shower, preparation of the medical equipment, and two cups of coffee, he was alert enough to study his literature before there was a knock at the door.  He smiled.  Perfect timing.

"Come on in, Vash, Meryl," Doc called, and the couple entered.  Meryl's shoulders were hunched with tension, and Vash was missing his usual pleasant expression.  

"I hope this isn't too early for you, but the sooner we get this sorted out, the better," Doc said.  "Would either of you like something to drink?  I've got coffee, juice…"

The idea of a liquid breakfast perked Vash up somewhat—just by looking at his eyes, Doc could tell the man had gotten less even less sleep than he had—but Meryl hovered uncertainly.  "Dr. Wu, if you don't mind, I'd rather we get on with this."

He nodded.  "Certainly, my dear.  If you'll follow me."

Doc's office, small and crammed with files of medical histories and precious texts, was not a practical space for the examination of patients.  A side door led to a sterile-looking room that held an examination table as well as a counter and cabinet that held all the tools Doc normally needed.  Meryl sat on the very edge of the table and Vash stood next to her, their hands tightly clasped.

"I spent some time looking your medical file, Vash," Doc began.  "When he lived here for a period of time, he was gracious enough to let me do some research on the nature of his physiology," he explained to Meryl.  "Vash is not human, but the question of why he has the appearance of a normal man rather than that of his kind has always perplexed me.  Though we know little about the physical bodies of the bulb-bound plants, I was able to learn more about Vash.  He has a heart, lungs, and a nervous system like humans do, though he is not identical."  He smiled.  "Forgive me for rambling.  In any case, I can't begin to speculate on a plant/human pregnancy until I've examined you, Meryl."  He selected a thermometer from the array of neatly-arranged instruments on the counter.  "Open wide?"  
  


"Doctor, shouldn't we move on?" said Meryl.  "I'm not sick.  I just want to know if my baby will be all right."

"And I intend on finding the answer," Doc said gently.  "But the earlier the pregnancy, the less there is to learn.  "_Initially_," he amended, when Vash opened his mouth to protest.  "Developing babies generally take care of themselves; my patient is the mother, and that's where I want to begin."  He gestured again with the thermometer.  "If you don't mind?"

The tension and worry that lined the atmosphere were not hidden Doc's routine inspection.  He did his best to help the young couple relax, keeping conversation light, and learned that Meryl's temperature was normal, her weight was healthy for a woman of her age and height, she was free of throat irritation, and her pregnancy symptoms fit those of a woman in her first trimester.  It all seemed normal.  

"This doesn't tell you much, does it?" Vash asked as they continued.

"It tells me that there is nothing obviously amiss here," Doc answered.  "But no, I still can't give a prognosis for the future of the pregnancy."

Meryl looked dismayed.  "Isn't there anything we can do?"

"There is," Doc answered.  "Here on the ship, we're fortunate enough to have access to procedures and equipment that our ancestors took for granted.  Come with me and I'll show you what I mean."

***

Jessica slammed her pencil down against the notebook.  The whole assignment was stupid.  She didn't blame Doc for adding to the junior education curriculum, but to double her homework was .unfair, especially when it meant she had to stay up all night studying and then get up at this ungodly hour to finish before class.  The geography of the planet, the weather patterns, the social customs…  She strongly suspected that her teacher had made up a few in the last category.  

Jessica understood that people were frightened of the "dirt-walkers." She wasn't crazy about the idea herself, but people who had acted as representatives for the ship's small earthbound community established near the crash site had come away cautiously optimistic.  That wouldn't happen if the people `below' were as strange as the ship-folk imagined.  Besides, Vash had lived among them for a long time and he was fine.  Vash would want her to be brave.

Jessica wondered what he was doing right now.  She'd been wondering that a lot lately.  She seemed to be one of the only people who still cared.  As difficult as things were, now, the ship was beginning to prosper—was Vash?  Was he alive, unhurt?

Even as she thought his name, a snippet of conversation from the corridor floated in, making her wonder if someone had read her thoughts.

"…Vash…"

"He's _back_?  But why would…"

"…don't know, but Jenson said…"

Jessica's eyes widened at the second voice's statement, and she jumped to her feet and threw open the door.  "What are you talking about?" she demanded.

One of the men, whom she recognized as a friend of her father's, stared at her in surprise.  "Jessica?  What – "

"Did you say Vash?" she interrupted.  "Did he come back?  Is he here?"

His expression hardened.  "Yeah, he's here, and that's not a good thing," he said.  "Jessie, you stay away from him.  After what happened the last time he came back, the last thing you need is to be around him – hey!"

Ignoring his warning, Jessica whirled around, slamming the door in his face.  Vash!  Homework forgotten, she gave in to the urge to jump up and down.  She'd always felt bad that she never got to say goodbye the last time he'd left—at least, not the way she wanted to..  She'd have to get started on a gift for him.  What if he needed a new coat?  Or maybe some home cooking?  It had probably been a long time since he'd had a woman's touch.

She frowned as she thought of the possible reaction to her reunion with Vash.  After the—what had happened—so many people were concerned about her, like they expected her to break under the weight of it all.  They just didn't understand.  It wasn't Vash's fault.  If anything, it was hers, for getting caught.  How Jessica felt, and how she _knew_ Vash must feel back, had nothing to do with the bad things.  He made her happy.  How could that be bad?  Just thinking about him made her feel better than she had since Brad—since what happened.  They were being silly, that was all.  They weren't important.  Vash was important.

She nodded firmly.  Everything would be fine when she saw Vash again.

***

Meryl took a deep breath.  She needed to focus.  This wasn't a big deal; it was just a normal procedure.  She would be fine if she could relax.  That's what Doc said.

Oh, hell, who was she kidding?  She was going to die.

"How are you doing?" Vash asked. Meryl tried to smile, but she wasn't sure how convincing it was from someone lying flat on her back.

"I'll be fine," she said.  "This will help us, right?"

Vash smoothed back her bangs and gave her a quick kiss on the forehead.  "It will," he said.  "I trust Doc.  It won't take too long, and I'll be right outside the whole time."

"Outside?  Why can't you stay with me?"  Meryl hated the quaver in her voice, but no matter how much reassurance Vash gave her, the opening at the end of the platform she lay on looked like nothing so much as a mouth, ready for a feeding.  Or a tomb.  She suppressed a shudder.

Doc's arrival interrupted them.  "The machine is prepared.  Are you ready?"

"Doctor, why can't Vash stay here?" Meryl asked.

"I'm sorry, Meryl.  I wish that was an option."  Doc looked regretful.  "But I'm afraid that the machine generates a powerful magnetic field when in use.  Vash would find himself pinned to its side."

"I'd take off my arm, but, well…"  Vash waved a hand up and down his body, indicating the various bits of metal that peppered it.  Meryl scowled.  She hated that damn grate.  It had scraped sensitive skin more than once.

"This will take about an hour," Doc said.  "I know that's a long time to lie still, but if the procedure is successful, we'll have an image of the fetus."

"And you'll be able to tell if it's normal?" Vash asked.

"That's my hope," Doc replied.  "But we'll have to wait and see.  I want to proceed very cautiously."  He turned to Meryl.  "Are you ready, my dear?"

She nodded.  "Whenever you are."

Meryl regretted her show of confidence once she was inside the machine.  She'd never been claustrophobic, but once she was surrounded by the unyielding walls of the tube, forbidden to escape or even move…

She flinched when the first loud clunking noise echoed in the tube, signaling the start of the imaging scan.  _Calm down_, she scolded herself.  _Vash would never let anything bad happen to you._  She closed her eyes and focused on her breathing.  _It's for the baby.  For the baby…_

The next hour passed with excruciating slowness.  Telling herself that her fears were baseless didn't work; being inside the imaging machine felt too much like being trapped in some dangerous cage.  By the time the noises stopped and the table she lay on moved out of the machine, Meryl could feel the raw weals her nails had dug into her palms.  Doc's face was the most wonderful sight in the world when it appeared above her.

"Are you okay?"  Vash's worried face was the second most wonderful as he appeared and helped her sit up.  "How do you feel?  Do you need anything?  Are you thirsty?"

Meryl turned away, rubbing her temples.  His hovering was making her claustrophobic again.  "Vash, I'm fine.  Just…give me a minute."

Doc offered a glass of water and two pills.  "Here's some aspirin if the noises gave you a headache.  It's a common reaction."

She took the pills gratefully.  "So what happens now?"

"I'll need some time to process and review the results," Doc said.  "I'd like to meet with you again in the morning.  Until then, you're free to do as you like.  Vash, perhaps you could show her around the ship."

Vash looked uncomfortable, but nodded.  "Sure.  That sounds good."

Once she was dressed and ready, Vash led her through the mazelike corridors of the ship.  Neither of them seemed to have much to say.  There wasn't much she _could_ say until they knew more.  

"There's not a lot to see here," Vash said.  "There are places for people to eat, to gather, to rest.  It's pretty much the same as on the ground, just enclosed."

"Where did you live when you were here?" Meryl asked.

"Up a few levels, not too far from our room.  It gave me some solitude, but back then people wouldn't leave me alone for too long without inviting me to do something.  It was nice."

She reached for his hand and squeezed.  "I'm sorry you don't have that anymore.  They don't know what they're missing."

He squeezed back.  "Don't worry.  I've got a lot more now."  They reached a wide set of metal doors.  "Oh hey, you might be interested in this."  Vash reached out to press a button, and the doors slid into the wall.  "This is the ship's library.  Well, one station of it."

Meryl craned her neck, looking around for anything familiar.  Instead of the long stacks that filled the December Public Library, this large, sterile-looking room held rows of desks and monitors with keyboards in front of them, like some strange version of her trusty typewriter.  "I don't see any books."

"Oh, there aren't any."

She resisted the urge to smack him.  It wasn't his fault she didn't understand.  "Then how is it a library?"

"Come here and sit down.  I'll show you," Vash said, gesturing to one of the work stations.

He showed her how to start it up.  "It works like this," he explained.  "Instead of having to find the book you want and then page through it to find the right information, you type what you want in this box.  The computer will provide a list of books and encyclopedias that have what you want.  You can also search for a specific title or author.  You try now."

Meryl placed her fingers lightly on the keys.  They were much smoother and closer together than those on her typewriter.  "I just type what I want to know about?"

"Right.  It's easy."

"What should I ask for?"

"Anything.  It doesn't matter."

One key at a time, Meryl typed the only thing that was on her mind --`pregnancy'.  Her eyes widened as the search results filled the screen.  "Oh my…how do they fit this much inside this little box?"  She felt silly as soon as she asked the question, and was grateful when Vash didn't laugh.

"Rem told me that when they decided to go into space for Project SEEDS, they wanted to take as much of their knowledge with them as they could, including literature and history.  They didn't want to make the same mistakes that they did on earth.  But millions of books would be heavy, and ink fades.  Computers have a way of storing the same information on microchips, which are tiny pieces inside the computers.  Even though this isn't a printed library, the ship's database has all of the same information, and you can access it from any workstation on the ship."  Vash looked sad.  "We've lost so much since the Great Fall," he said.  "I have to hope that that can change.  Maybe one day we'll recover all the technology we lost."

"Maybe."  Meryl began scrolling through the information on the screen.  "Right now I want to get some kind of idea of what's ahead of us."  She screwed her face up in frustration.  "Not that this is going to have any insight on our situation."

"Hey."  Vash placed his hand upon hers.  "It's going to be all right, you'll see.  There's no one better than Doc to help us.  The best place for the baby is right here."

Meryl leaned against his shoulder.  "When you say it like that, it's easier to believe," she said wistfully.

"Believe it.  We're going to have our baby and we're going to build a family.  Just the three of us."

A gasp and the clatter of something hitting the floor drew their attention to the library's doorway and the girl standing in it.  "Jessica," Vash said.  "Hi.  We didn't hear you come in."

Jessica didn't smile.  "You…"

"Er, sorry I didn't come see you yet."  Vash shifted in his seat.  "We got in last night and it's been kind of busy today…hello?"

"How could you?"  Her voice was barely audible.

Vash blinked.  "What?"

"How could  you?"  Jessica shrieked.  "They said you were back, and I thought you would want to see me, and you're here with her!"  She pointed at Meryl, who had the sudden feeling that if looks could kill, she would be a stain on the floor.

"She has a name," Vash said.  "Jessica, this is Meryl. She's my—well—we're together."

"I heard," Jessica said.  "I don't believe this.  I defended you, I told everyone what happened wasn't your fault, I waited  for you and you just forgot about me!"  She wiped tears from her face with the back of her hand.  "I loved you," she whispered.

"Jessica…"  Vash paused.  "Jessica, I care about you a lot.  You know I'll always think of this place as home.  But Meryl is part of my life now.  You're a great kid; you don't need a crush on a guy like me anyway."  He reached out to her, but she slapped his hand away.

"Don't touch me," Jessica hissed.  "Just _leave me alone_!"  She spun on her heel and ran out the door.

Vash moved as if to follow her, then knelt down to examine what she'd dropped.  A plate and a pile of cookies lay strewn across the floor.  Slowly, he placed them back on the plate and returned to Meryl.  "I didn't expect that," he said.  "I knew she had a crush on me, but I thought she'd be over that."

"I've seen her before," Meryl said.  "When the ship crashed.  It was her friend that died, wasn't it."

Vash nodded.  "Yeah."  There was a long moment of silence.  "I'm sorry you had to hear that."

Meryl put her hand on his shoulder.  "It's all right," she said.  "I think we should go, though."

"We don't have to go because she upset you.  You have as much a right to be here as I do."

"It's not that."  Meryl placed a hand over her mouth.  "It's just that I think I'm going to throw up again."

They went.


End file.
